


How much the heart can hold

by theonetruenorth



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Boys In Love, Christmas, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Malec Secret Santa 2017, Ragnor is the best friend one could have, a bit bittersweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 18:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13172262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theonetruenorth/pseuds/theonetruenorth
Summary: A short story in which you will find weirdly-named cats, handsome tailors, two boys in love, fancy parties and a green-skinned ghost of Christmas past.





	How much the heart can hold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sweetautumnleaves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetautumnleaves/gifts).
  * Translation into Русский available: [How much the heart can hold](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13243068) by [Batty_Blue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batty_Blue/pseuds/Batty_Blue)



> Malec Secret Santa gift for [magnusandalexander](http://magnusandalexander.tumblr.com)/[sweetautumnleaves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetautumnleaves)

 

> _**“Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.”** _
> 
> _**― Zelda Fitzgerald** _

 

The invitation came in his regular mail at the beginning of November.

Magnus lounged on the daybed on his terrace, flipping lazily through the stack of mail he had gathered from his mailbox that morning. The air of New York had just turned chilly, fall slowly giving into winter and it really should be too cold to laze around outside, but Magnus had fixed that little problem long time ago. The outside battle wards that covered the entire building also contained small, inner ward that wrapped around his terrace and balcony, providing a bubble of warmth for those within it.

The carefully controlled temperature was also something that his horde of cats preferred, as evident by the animated group gathered around Alec, doing their best to weave around his legs as the poor man tried to feed them. Magnus smirked in amusement as his boyfriend almost tripped over Barrack Opawma, only to perform the less than dignified _don’t-step-on-a-cat’s-tail_ dance when Whisker Purrchill wrapped around his shins. Magnus reached towards Chairman Meow - who was politely curled into a ball in his lap, refusing to join the writhing mass of fur and claws, as if such behaviour was beneath him - and scratched behind his favorite’s ear.

His gaze returned to the envelope in his hand. The paper was of a great quality, heavy to touch and in color of dark chocolate with a gold filigree design printed on top. It was addressed by hand in an elegant cursive of golden ink, the letters evenly spaced and flowing smoothly. Magnus had a pretty good idea what was inside. He had completely forgotten about it, in light of everything that had happened in the past few months - like the missing Soul Sword, the almost-war, the near break-up with Alec... and oh yes, of course, the raising of Raziel. It was a hectic time and all thoughts of entertainment were pushed on a back burner, to be returned to when they finally had time to rest. But now that Valentine was gone…

He startled a little bit when Alec suddenly plopped down on the daybed next to him, covered in cat fur and a couple scratches from where he was not fast enough to escape the overexcited cats. Magnus scrunched up his nose a little and waved a hand in a vague, careless gesture and got rid of the fur.

“President Frump is going to be the death of me,” Alec muttered as he laid down and tucked himself underneath Magnus’ arm, all six feet of him. “He almost bit my hand off because I fed Vladimir Purrin first.”

“That’s what you get for getting in between the US and Russia, my dear,” Magnus answered with a laugh.

“Have I told you already that you are not allowed to name your cats anymore?” He grinned when Magnus gave a long-suffering sigh before he noticed the envelope in Magnus’ hand. “What’s this?”

“An invitation to an event that I completely forgot about,” Magnus replied as he opened the envelope with his magic, since one of his arms was now wrapped securely around Alec’s shoulders. The invitation card inside was made from the same, chocolate-colored paper, and it unfolded itself and hovered a couple inches above their chests, so that they could both read it.

“A winter gala fundraiser?” Alec frowned. “Is this the thing where mundanes dress up for a party and gather money for some cause? You go to those, too?”

“Mhm,” Magnus hummed as his eyes skimmed over the invitation. The date was in the second half of December, somewhat close to Christmas. “I haven’t been to one of these since last year, actually. It’s…” he hesitated for just a second and his breath hitched a little when sudden emotion threatened to overwhelm him, “it’s actually the last time I saw Ragnor in person, before that day in his cottage when he died.”

Alec remained quiet because really, what could he say? He knew perfectly well how much Magnus missed Ragnor. He had been his best friend for hundreds of years, someone so very dear to him who was torn away from his life so suddenly. Alec just wrapped one arm around Magnus’ middle and held him close. And that was more than enough.

“Going to the charity gala was his idea in the first place and it’s something we tried to do every year, for a very long time. He always said that we gathered so much wealth over the centuries that it was only fair we share with those less fortunate.” Magnus folded the invitation back up. “I agree. Hoarding money endlessly is pointless if you don’t spend it on others.”

Alec was silent for a long time, so long that Magnus actually thought he had fallen asleep. He wouldn’t hold it against him. With the warmth of the wards and even warmer body next to his, he was just about ready to fall asleep himself.

“Do you want to go?” Alec asked quietly and Magnus startled a little at the suddenness.

“Do you?” he finally answered a question with a question. “I thought you disliked gatherings like this.”

“It’s important to you.” Alec just shrugged with one shoulder which was as much as he could in their current position, wrapped around each other as they were. “That’s a good enough reason for me to go.”

It was such a simple statement made so casually, as if Alec didn’t realize that no, it wasn’t simple at all. It held a promise of something much greater, this willingness to do things out of your comfort zone for someone you cared about. Magnus couldn’t imagine loving Alec more than he already did, but the young man had surprised him once more. The swell of affection he felt right then was almost overwhelming, filling his heart to the brim so much that Magnus thought he might not be able to take any more of it.

“There’s going to be dancing,” Magnus said, carefully. “And we’re going to have to socialize with others.”

“I’ll leave that to you,” Alec said. “I can just be your arm candy for the night.”

“Well, if that’s the case,” Magnus sighed contently as he turned his head to nuzzle into the black mop of Alec’s hair, “I think it’s about time we got you some appropriate clothes.”

Alec only groaned.

 

* * *

 

Of course, there was only one shop that Magnus could trust when it came to black-tie event clothes. So on Alec’s next free afternoon he portaled them all the way to London, next to the tailor’s shop he had discovered a little over a hundred years ago and still visited when an occasion called for it. It was an old-fashioned establishment with its dark brown antique furniture, classic paintings and subtle gold accents. They spent a good amount of time in there, discussing their options first and picking the right fabrics. The task fell to Magnus, mostly, though Alec did try his best to listen and offer opinions when asked; It was clear that the younger man felt totally out of his element among the posh and somewhat stuffy surroundings. But, Magnus supposed, if there was anything that playing politics with the Clave taught you, it was how to pretend you knew more than you let on.

The senior tailor attending them was a tall, middle-aged gentleman, whose handsome features and proud posture must have turned a lot of heads in his younger years. Even though you could see the signs of age on his face, there was still something incredibly alluring in him. The tailor’s assistant, however, was a young, cheerful man in his mid-twenties, beautiful in his youth and energetic nature. Both men were strikingly handsome and Magnus couldn’t _not_ notice that. And by the way that Alec blushed furiously when it came to taking measurements (especially the inseam) Magnus was pretty sure Alec noticed too.

Magnus made appointments for future fittings and paid in advance for the job and the short-notice deadline that they had. Then he promptly had to reassure his wide-eyed boyfriend that no, six-and-a-half thousand dollars for _one_ bespoke tuxedo wasn’t too much. One did not spare any expense when it came to extraordinary quality. After all, they both deserved only the best.

That, and he couldn’t wait to see Alec in the finished piece.

 

* * *

 

Magnus had to admit, he was getting a little worried.

He had tried to find time for him and Alec to have some kind of dancing lesson, if only to teach his boyfriend the basics of the most common ballroom dances, but there simply was no time. The month and a half before the event was flowing by and he still had not breached the subject with Alec. He tried suggesting at first, with some kind of subtle manipulation to get them alone so that they could practice. Then, eventually, he asked Alec outright about the constant switching of plans and cancellations whenever he wanted to teach him.

“You don’t have anything to be worried about,” Alec had said before kissing him goodbye and fleeing for yet another mission that demanded his personal attention.

Magnus just huffed and gave up, not seeing any point in pushing the issue. If Alec wanted to make fool of himself on the dance floor, it was his choice.

 

* * *

 

“Do you know a lot of people here?” Alec asked, taking a sip of his champagne.

They’ve been standing near a bar, each of them with a tall glass in hand, ever since Magnus finished what he called ‘a suitable amount of mingling and schmoozing’. Alec had gamely played his self-assigned part as arm candy, nodding at appropriate places or chuckling politely at the jokes of other patrons, despite their mixed quality. Magnus had flitted from one small group of guests to the other, never staying too long, always the social butterfly - a role he played perfectly and willingly.

The gala took place in a country mansion not far away from London. Though ‘country mansion’ was not a correct description. It was more like a palace, really, with its massive size, rich decor, and meticulously kept gardens. Magnus still remembered the feeling of awe when he saw one of these mansions for the first time and that same look of wonder was now clearly visible on Alec’s face.

“Me and Ragnor, we’ve been changing charities every couple of years, to avoid the questions about not aging with time.” Magnus was very much aware how his breath always caught a little whenever he mentioned his dear friend. “But I’ve seen some of the guests at previous events. And some of them I’ve known for decades - I wasn’t the only immortal that Ragnor roped into this little project of his. See that woman over there, in the navy blue dress?” Magnus tilted his head a little and Alec followed with his line of sight. “A warlock acquaintance of mine. She’s glamored away the fish scales that cover most of her skin.”

Which was a bit of a pity, really. Magnus remembered very well how Anastasia’s scales shimmered with various colors, iridescent and beautiful, and the dress would have complimented them perfectly... If only this were a Downworlder party. All of the guests were dressed to the nines. The women in glittering gowns and pretty cocktail dresses, the men elegant in their formal wear.

And Alec…

Oh, his Alec, who looked so incredible in his brand new clothes. The tuxedo fit him perfectly - as it should, after so many visits to the tailor shop to get it just right. Every inch of fabric was cut and designed in a way to flatter his body, hug it in the right places and flow smoothly in the others. He was clean-shaven and smelled deliciously of a sharp but sweet after-shave. Magnus was one step away from just nuzzling in and _licking_ that tempting bit of skin on his neck where the deflect rune was glamored away. Alec’s hair was still somewhat of a disaster, sticking up in several different directions at once, but at least it looked a little bit more tame than on his usual days.

The gala had moved from the dinner part of the evening into dancing and Magnus found his champagne flute lifted from his hand when the first tones of a waltz sounded through the room. Then Alec was offering him his hand and he had a mischievous look in his eyes and Magnus blinked in surprise, even as he was being pulled to the dance floor.

“Do you, ah, do you want me to lead?” Magnus asked as they got into position and Alec clearly settled in the leading role.

“I’m good,” Alec said and then raised one eyebrow at Magnus. “Can you follow?”

Oh, it was _on_.

Magnus expected… he wasn’t sure what he expected. He had seen Alec dance on those rare occasions where his boyfriend joined him in Pandemonium and it became clear very quickly that Alec was just… not good at it. Awkward and stiff, and - once you got a couple drinks in him - downright silly, with a lot of flailing arms and bumbling dance moves. Since Alec refused to practice with him, Magnus was bracing himself for having his toes stepped on or bumping into other dancing couples.

But of course, his Alexander had to go and defy his expectations once again.

They started moving just in the right moment and followed the three-beat tempo perfectly, without missing a step. One of Alec’s hands was steady on his back, supporting him through the spins and the other gently cradled Magnus’ own hand, keeping it on level. Magnus must have had a pretty dumbstruck look on his face, since Alec was grinning at him.

They glided over the dance floor effortlessly, spinning and turning and Magnus recalled his fear from the weeks back, the one about his heart actually bursting with the affection he felt for the amazing, beautiful man in front of him. The one who looked at Magnus like he was the most important thing in the world and whose eyes were shining with mirth and so much _love_. For all the long centuries of his life, Magnus couldn’t remember anyone looking at him like that before.

“It seems I’ve been tricked,” Magnus laughed once the music stopped and they had retreated to the side, new glasses of champagne in hands to quench the thirst from dancing. Magnus was feeling more than a little breathless and it wasn’t only because of the exertion. “All those times where you made some excuse not to practice dancing with me. You’ve been planning this all along, haven’t you?”

“I wanted to surprise you,” Alec said with a small, bashful smile. “Did it work?”

“You keep astonishing me, darling.” Magnus leaned in and brushed a soft kiss on Alec’s lips, making the younger man blush a little at the public display of affection, something he still wasn’t completely used to. “But pray tell, how did you come to be so efficient at the waltz?”

“Old-fashioned parents, what else? Mother believed that all good-mannered shadowhunter children from old families should be able to dance well at their weddings. Me, Izzy, and Jace, we all had to learn. In a couple of years she’s going to insist on teaching Max as well.” Alec shrugged. “It’s different from club dancing. If it has choreography then it’s easier for me to learn it. Just like martial arts, I guess?”

“It _is_ a good skill to have,” Magnus admitted. It was no secret from anyone who knew him how much he loved to dance. “You need to show me what else can you do.”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Alec laughed, “I only know two dances. Waltz and tango. Izzy made me learn the second one.”

Magnus’ entire face lit up and he gave Alec his brightest smile.

“The first appropriate song they play, you are _so_ dancing the tango with me. Or no, wait, this might actually be too much and make my poor little heart explode with glee.”

“Any kind of exploding will have to wait till I’m back from the restroom,” Alec chuckled as he placed the half-empty glass on a passing waiter’s tray.

“Go ahead, I’m going to need a bit of a fresh air. It suddenly got too hot for me here.” Magnus winked at Alec’s good-natured eye roll.

The large, round conservatory just on the other end of the corridor that led to the ballroom was mostly empty. It was a little cold inside, but not unbearably so. Magnus stopped near one of the huge windows and took tentative sips of his champagne as he looked to the landscape behind the glass. The terrace gardens, filled with neatly-trimmed hedges and stone statues were drowning in snow and even as he looked, the thick snowflakes fell from the sky. Winter was taking its early toll and it covered the world with a white layer. The strings of white christmas lights hung between the trees and columns of the garden added to the quiet, magical atmosphere and Magnus sighed in contentment.

“Looks like you’re having a great time,” a familiar voice to his left said and Magnus turned his head a little to give Ragnor a nod.

“I am,” he confirmed. “I think I’m finally in the good place, my friend. All thanks to the wise advice you gave me so long ago.”

Ragnor hummed and crossed his hands behind his back as he joined Magnus in watching the winter wonderland behind the glass. They stood in companionable silence for a couple of minutes, enjoying the solitude and the stillness of the world that was usually so very hectic.

“Magnus,” Ragnor finally said, “I’m glad that you’re finally happy. He’s a good one, your shadowhunter.”

“He’s the best thing that ever happened to me,” Magnus whispered, a soft smile on his lips.

“Good. I hope you don’t ever intend to let him go.” Ragnor sighed. “This is the last time you’ll see me. I think I’m finally done meddling with your life, now that you actually made some good decisions for once.”

“I figured it might happen soon.” Magnus nodded. “I will miss you, my dear Cabbage. My very own spirit of Christmas past and present. Who will teach me to follow my heart now?”

“Oh, I think you have someone who will take care of that big heart of yours,” Ragnor chuckled. “Goodbye, Magnus. I hope I won’t see you in the afterlife for a very long time.”

“Goodbye, my friend,” Magnus said and while he thought he should feel sad, he only felt at peace. Ragnor was moving on, finally. Magnus knew that he would be alright now, even with Ragnor gone.

“Who were you talking to?”

Magnus turned to look over his shoulder to see Alec standing not far away from him, a puzzled look on his face. He glanced back to his left but as he suspected, Ragnor was already gone.

“No one,” Magnus said. “Just talking to myself.”

Alec closed the distance between them and cupped Magnus’ cheek and the look in his hazel eyes was a little hesitant and worried.

“Magnus, is everything okay?”

Magnus just nuzzled into Alec’s palm, raising his own hand to cover Alec’s. It was warm and strong and a little calloused. A hand of a warrior and a protector. A hand that already held Magnus’ heart in it and cradled it gently and with utmost care, like it was the most precious thing in the world.

“Yes,” Magnus whispered, “everything is perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> Every fic is first posted to my tumblr and I usually upload it to AO3 with a delay. If you want to read my stories as soon as I finish them, follow me there: theonetruenorth.tumblr.com
> 
> Beta-read by [RomanceShipper](http://archiveofourown.org/users/RomanceShipper)


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